[ previous | bottom ]


            Linda and Young Joe, (25), walking along corridor. Evening
            attire. As before. Young Joe very smart - looking. Stop
            outside a room. Young Joe unlocks the door. Opens it. Turns
            to Linda.

                                YOUNG JOE
                      Come in, Linda.

            They enter. The door closes.

            INT. HOTEL ROOM-4. - DAY

            A small hotel room. 

            P.O.V. LINDA;  Joe (50) disrobes himself.  Very manly. Leans
            down on her on the bed.  Commences making love to her. 

            Young Joe, (25) on top. Wanting her, doing it to her. She
            using his butt. To pull him into her. 

            Joe (50). ALL imagined actions revolving around HER. HIS
            imagining to want HIM. 

            HIM REMEMBERED AT AGE 25. 

            HER imagining NOW!

                                LINDA (V.O.)
                      Ohhhhh, Joe!......



            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT.  THE RESTAURANT-2. - DAY

            BACK TO:	Joe caressing the bread-roll in front of him.

                                LINDA (V.O.)

            Greg2 grins. Interrupting Joe's imagining of Linda's
            imagining to want him.

                      Linda? Got caught up in your self-talk?

                      Self-talk? Oh!

            Linda turns towards Greg2, sheepish.

                      Sorry, yes, self-talk.
                      We're going down the seafood restaurant.
                          (turns, looks at Joe)

            Joe blushes. Linda blushes, smiles. Walks away.  

            Joe confused. 

            Linda wears only bra and panties as she walks away. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. THE RESTAURANT-3. - NIGHT

            BACK TO:	 Joe  unwrapping the beercan. A can of Guinness. A
            long one. Putting it on the table. Putting the brown paper
            bag in his pocket. 

            Greg2 nods to Phil, then at the beercan. They smile at each
            other, amused. 

            Joe pulls the top of the can. Waits.  Froth emanates from the
            beercan orifice.  Joe notices their smile.

                      They're all male ones you know.

                          (to Phil)
                       What d'you want to drink?

            Phil picks up the wine list. Scans it.

                      Jindera Mont-blanc circa 1926 looks
                          (looks up at Greg2)
                      Suit you?

                      How much?

                      Fifty-eight dollars a bottle, Okay?
                      On the "Company"!

            Greg2 smirks, nods. Joe's eyebrows wrinkle. Looks at his

                                JOE (V.O.)
                      Two - dollars - fifty and I paid for it!
                      Brian Suit said to minimise costs!

            He looks up, at them. 

            Phil and Greg2 are completely NUDE. 

            Joe looks down. The floor is covered with one-hundred dollar
            bills. Piled around THEIR table. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. THE MEW-5.- DAY

            The next day. Brian Suit stands in front of the audience.

                      And so we have seen that our personal
                      reality is not the reality of other
                      people. Our thoughts dictate this
                      reality, and, our thoughts can interfere
                      with true reality and cause us
                          (beat, smiles, looks around the
                      I want volunteers to relate their most
                      embarrassing moment.

            The AUDIENCE laugh. Look at one another. Embarrassed.

                                BRIAN (cont'd)
                          (smiling, genuinely)
                      Surely one of you can start, how about
                      you Doug?

            Brian looks at Doug. 

            AUDIENCE laugh. Doug surprised. Looks around.

                          (standing, then looking around
                      It's like last night is it? Turned over
                      and said to her I must be going home and
                      it was the wife! 

            AUDIENCE laugh, heartily.

                                DOUG (cont'd)
                      Well, I suppose it was in the Middle-East
                      -- an airport lounge, but I can't tell
                      you who I was with.....
                          (grins, then pauses)
                      We at International Business musn't put
                      "Corporate" to shame....
                          (nervous grin)
                      It was in the Middle-East, at an


            A Middle-East airport lounge.  

            ARABS and OTHERS sit around waiting. 

            Doug and Les sit waiting. "Company" attire.

                      So you to bought the Donga-Donga plant
                      for a couple of mil?

                      The figure is confidential but could be
                      worth it, when we've changed their focus,

                          (nodding, not heard)
                      A good decision, they're really on- the
                      ball. I was really impressed when I went
                      to Donga-Donga.

            LES sneers. Commences picking his nose.

                                DOUG (cont'd)
                          (not noticing sneer)
                      We'll have to let them market the product
                      internationally, though, they've been at
                      it longer than both of us, longer than
                      the "Company", and I've been in
                      Commercial International Marketing for
                      fifteen years.

                          (sneer widening, then with
                          (beat, then normal)
                      says they're country bumpkins. So, how do
                      you think no-mindset fuckwits can be
                      allowed to transgress international
                      business areas......business areas we are
                      delegated to control.
                      Especially with Corporate focus and
                      synergistic application of a cultured
                      mindset of underpinned organic growth?

                      But they created the product, know it. Do

                      But they're not "Public Servants". Just
                      flannelette - shirt little minions.

            Doug amazed.

                                LES (cont'd)
                      They wouldn't know which suit to wear,
                      the "right" things to do, to say.....

            Doug interrupting, angrily, loudly. 

                      Public Servants! It'll destroy them! You

            Some PEOPLE look at the PAIR.

                      If that's what it takes, they'll be
                      destroyed. But we have clear focus. The
                      "Company" name must be paramount! Above
                      all else!

                      But the product they have is invaluable
                      to Australia, to the World!

                          (demeaning, loudly demeaning,
                           slowly, looking around for

            Doug stares in disbelief. More PEOPLE look at them.

                                LES (cont'd)
                          (leaning forward)
                      Ken has said that ONLY a Public Service
                      mentality produces clear focussed culture
                      in marketing and synergistic product
                          (beat, then, condescendingly)
                      Do we make ourself clear?
                          (sits back, sneering)

            Doug suppresses what his response will be. Stands. Cynical.

                      I'm going to have a long, synergistic,

            He exits.

                                JOE (V.O.)
                      And, keep taking the money! Like we all

            Les sits there. A smirk coming over his face. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. THE MEW-6 - DAY

            BACK TO:	TOTAL silence. Doug standing.  

            AUDIENCE look at one another. Not knowing what to do. Doug
            starting to get embarrassed.  Brian  embarrassedly regains
            the situation. Looks around.

                      Anyone else? 

            Doug sits down. Turns to face Joe. Grins. Sheepishly.
            HOPELESSLY. Joe gives "thumbs-up" sign. 

            DOUG is totally NUDE. 

            Joe surprised. Looks around. 

            EVERYONE in varying state of nudity. 

            Brian, and MANY OTHERS  totally NUDE. 

            One-hundred-dollar bills start to RAIN-DOWN from the ceiling. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT.  MEETING BOARDROOM-3. - DAY

            The room as before. Neville and Dave sit at the table.
            Folders before them. Neville not pleased. Very not pleased.
            He's going to be in trouble with Ken!  

            To the rear of the table. 20 VERY THICK white volumes of
            procedures. Stacked VERY high.

                      Your's is the only area not cooperating
                      in the Accreditation. I called you back
                      from your holiday in UK because Joe is
                      being difficult. He won't do as he's
                      told. Keeps raising problems with the
                      consultant. Says that the consultant
                      confiscated all 
                      your work-procedures and is enforcing his
                      on you. I don't really care. 
                      has said we get accreditation, so we get

                      With respect, Neville, they're design
                      engineers, Joe most of all...

                      Engineers? They couldn't design anything.
                      Just a lot of country bumpkins. 
                      has said that we must get accreditation
                      by July, so, we must!

                      But, as Joe told you, that consultant
                      just confiscated all our documentation,
                      which we instigated, and forced all his
                      new documentation on us. That's the first
                      thing management theory teaches is wrong. 

            He points to the pile of white folders.

                                DAVE (cont'd)
                      Look at them!  We had ten folders, we
                      wrote, with three pages in each folder
                      which gave more quality than all of

                          (ignoring him)
                      Where's that Joe! 
                          (looks at his watch)
                      My time's important!

            Joe, (50), casually enters carrying a large green folder.
            Sits slowly beside Dave.  Opposite Neville. Neville looks
            over his glasses at him. Joe very calm. Looks at Neville. Eye
            contact. Neville cannot hold it. Joe thinks slowly,

                                JOE (V.O.)
                      I.... am.... a.... business..... entity.
                      I ....will ....not ....take ...shit
                      ...from ..a ...wally.  I ...will ...give
                      ...wallies ...shit.

                          (calmly, very slowly)
                      The project for your shit-thing is on
                      time. No problems exist.

            Dave is astounded.  Looks from Joe to Neville.  Not believing
            his ears. Neville not hearing, as always, waves his hands.

                      That doesn't matter. 
                      is coming in August to see it. We'll have
                      to demonstrate it to please him. He
                      thinks you don't perform, can't do
                      anything. You've already spent over two
                      million on this thing.

            Dave aghast. Starts to speak. Joe motions him quiet. 

                      Mr. Trigger. The "MEW" 
                      the "medium" wally, sent me on has
                      released me from my fear of wallies like
                      you. I have my affirmation and I have
                      been repeating it for a long time now.

            Neville looks at Joe over his half-glasses. Eyebrows wrinkle.
            Did he hear correctly?

                                JOE (cont'd)
                      Public Servants like you cost Australia
                      many millions of dollars with your
                      proactive sycophanticactive,
                      oligarchichative incompetent nature.
                      It is not "we" who spent, it is "you",
                      our "Public Wally Number - One", who

            Dave's mouth drops.  Neville starts to speak. Joe motions him
            quiet, wavey - hand - like, continues.

                                JOE (cont'd)
                          (slowly, deliberately)
                      You haven't had any idea what this
                      business is all about since you were put
                      in charge. Just spent taxpayers money,
                      like all Public Service wallies do.
                      That's all they know how to do. And if
                      June the thirtieth comes, and there's a
                      million left, then,..
                          (smiles, then slowly,
                      spend it! Eh? Except now that we're going
                      Private you have to THINK, eh? Be as Ken
                      says "a business entity".
                          (grins pauses)
                      New experience, eh?
                          (demeaning, very demeaning)
                      Little BOY!

            Neville getting angry. Joe calmly continues.

                                JOE (cont'd)
                      I thought, we ALL thought, of telling you
                      where you went wrong, to help you, oh, so
                      many times, but that wouldn't do any
                      good, would it Dave?
                          (turns to Dave)

            Dave, jaw hanging. Speechless.

                                JOE (cont'd)
                          (turns slowly to Neville)
                      I've been trying, in fact we've all been
                      trying to help you since you took over,
                      but you ignore us, throw shit in our
                      faces, bollux with our capability which
                      you deny!.
                          (beat, very slowly)
                      I have only one course of action, and it
                      is analactively delivered, with bowelset,
                      on behalf of this Facility, this Centre,
                      whatever you want your "Corporate"
                      mentality to call it, in-toto,

            He stands, releases his trouser-belt.

                                JOE (cont'd)
                      Excepting, of course your "familiar", Bob
                      Farmer, although he's probably here now,
                      stuck up your your..
                          (beat, very slowly)
                      proactive anal synergistic sycophantic
                      cavity, adjusting himself orthog-analy.

            He climbs on the table, drops his trousers. 

            Neville and Dave get up. Hastily. Move back. Confused as to
            what will happen next. 

            Joe squats on the large table. 

            The SOUND of human excretion. 

            The FACES of Neville and Dave. Amazed. Cannot believe it! 

            A pile of steaming human excrement on the meeting -  room

            Joe gone. 

            Neville commences babbling screaming.

                      He's fired! He's fired! Fire him! 

            He runs out of the meeting room, shouting.

                       Bob! Bob! Where are you? Bob!!!

            Dave slowly grins.  The grin turns to hysterical appreciating
            laughter. He claps in appreciation. Three - years relieved!!

                      Bravo! Bravo! 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. JOE'S DESK. - DAY

            A computer-desk. Expensive-looking, hand-made, Public-
            Service, no-expense. Mac computer. MANY paper files. Too

            Joe, (50), sits working at the Mac computer. 

            Dave enters walks up to him. Joe notices. Looks up at

                      He's ready now?

                          (not sure)
                          (pause, cynically)
                      You're joking!

                      Joke? No, I've got the report ready. 

            He picks up the large green file, indicates. Dave amazed. Joe

                      Don't you know what you did?

                      What did I did? 

                      Come with me.

            Dave turns EXITS. 

            Joe  sits there.  Looks around.  A confused grin appearing on
            his face. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. THE HOME. - DAY

            A  small room.  Adequately furnished. 

            Wife, (40), standing before Joe, (50), slumped in an
            armchair. Wife aggressive.

                      And what do we do now you're redundant?

                      I don't know. I didn't do anything. 
                      They said I shit all over them, like
                      they've been doing to us for the past
                      three years. Like all bloody Governments
                      have been doing on Australians for much

                      Something'll come up.  Oh, by the way,
                      there were knock - backs for your play
                      from both the ABC and your US agent in
                      the post. 

                      What's the use? 
                      Why should I? 
                      All over Australia there are small
                      businesses going to the wall --- into
                      liquidation. Then the workers onto the
                      No-one cares. 
                      Above all, the blokes that you and I, and
                      everybody else voted for, don't care! So,
                      why should anybody vote for him, them,
                      ever again!

            Joe totally disillusioned. Slumped in the armchair. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.


            The small room.  

            Joe, (50), stands in the corner. Removing files from an open
            filing-cabinet-drawer. Reading them. His  the desk. Wears the
            suit. An empty chair on the opposite side of the desk. 

            Neville enters. Self-conscious. In despair. Sits in the
            chair. So caught up with himself doesn't recognise Joe from
            the back. Babbles to himself.

                      I'm stuck in this God-forsaken Donga
                      Donga place! Can't get to Melbourne!
                      Just been made a fool of. Phoned Ken and
                      told him the MEW is the problem. He said
                      that I'd be for - it if I didn't sort it
                      out. Don't know what to do. No - one's
                      shit on me before. No - one's dared!
                      Ken's angry with me. He'll stop my
                      pension. I'll lose a mil!

            Neville starts crying. Joe turns. Surprised.

                      Neville! Not you too! Your retirement
                      benefit must be near two million! Index 
                      linked! And you've only a year to go! 

            Neville looks up.  Recognises.  Stands.  Viciously. Pointing

                      You! You bastard!  You're the cause! I'll
                      get you! I'll tell Ken!

            He exits, fearful and in panic. Joe sits in his chair


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.


            The small room as before. 

            P.O.V. Neville; Watching hatefully through outside window.  

            Joe sits at a desk. MAN sits on the opposite side of the
            desk, mouthing in despair. Joe pulls up his sleeve. The LCD
            watch. MAN goes into dazed condition. Neville thinks.

                                NEVILLE (V.O.)
                      So that's how he does it!  Must tell Ken
                      about this!  He'll probably tell the D.M.
                      He'll tell the P.M.  Bloody country Donga
                      Donga bumpkin! I'll get him! 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.

            INT. THE BOARDROOM-5. - DAY

            The typical expensive Boardroom.

            Ken,  Les, Nigel, and John sit around it. Discussing take 
            over of the Donga-Donga company.  Neville  sits quietly to
            attention. In one corner. Looks like he's not listening. 

            ALL ARE TOTALLY NUDE EXCEPTING KEN who wears trousers and a

                          (god-like, kissing his
                      "I've", convinced the Board it's viable.
                      We need to work out a final decision.
                      They'll accept our recommendation. 
                          (beat, looks around, as if
                           someone spoke)
                      Synergistic appreciation?

                          (echoing, nodding, caressing
                           his arms)
                      Synergistic appreciation?

                          (echoing, nodding, caressing
                           his face)
                      Synergistic appreciation?

                          (echoing, nodding, kissing his
                      Synergistic apprec.......

                          (interrupting, casual question)
                      Synergistic appreciation?  In a country
                          (strokes his head,

            EVERYONE looks at one another. Trying to predict what Ken
            means. Les distracted. Looks around. Wonders why Neville is
            there. Commences eyeballing him. 

            Ken places his hands under the table commences caressing
            himself erotically in his genitalia area.

                                KEN (cont'd)
                      But are the predicted sales accurate?
                      Will they achieve a fifty-million dollar
                      turnover, discounted NPV, of course, in
                      the first Financial year?

                          (echoing, nodding, copying KEN)
                      Discounted NPV, of course....

                          (echoing, nodding, copying KEN)
                      Discounted NPV, of course.

                          (returning from eyeballing
                           Neville, echoing, nodding,
                           copying KEN)
                      Synergistic appreciation.......

            EVERYONE glares at him.

                                LES (cont'd)
                      Discounted NPV, of course....
                          (pauses, looks around)

            EVERYONE hanging on what he will say next.

                                LES (cont'd)
                          (to KEN)
                      Why, Ken, I can absolutely, irrefutably,
                      misonagimously state that if they can't
                          (beat, looks around)
                      something is severely wrong with our
                      mindset. Our methods of marketing and
                      focus must be irretrievably, incorrectly
                          (squints at Nigel)

            Nigel not with it. Getting somewhere caressing himself. Under
            the table.

                          (getting erotic)
                      Okay, ......then, ........we'll buy them 
                      -- BUT, ........only their
                      accomplishments, .....we don't want
                      "country peasants" .........as a
                          (looks up)
                      Do we?
                          (to himself)
                      Technical ........excellence ........must
                      reside ...........in a ..........city.

            EVERYONE nods. Ken is angry. EVERYONE looks at each other.
            Frightened. Then realising. EVERYONE negates. Shake their
            heads. Except Nigel, His eyes silently rolling. 

            Ken is happy. His eroticism changes to anticipation, clasps
            his hands in front, elbows on desk.

                                KEN (cont'd)
                      I proactively pre - empted "our" decision
                      and brought Neville along.

            EVERYONE synchronously turn to glare at Neville.  He statue
            like. Unmoving.

                                KEN (cont'd)
                      You all know Neville, don't you?

            EVERYONE synchronously nods. Emitting dislike in their own
            way. Continue their under - table antics.

                                KEN (cont'd)
                          (sensually to Neville)
                      Come and join us Neville, there's a lot
                      to discuss.

            Neville drops to the floor. Crawls to the table on hands and
            knees. Crawls under it.

                          (looking towards under the
                           table, very anticipating)
                      How do you feel about going to Donga
                      Donga, Neville?

                                NEVILLE (V.O.)
                          (from under the table,
                           boastingly eager)
                      Well, I've been in charge of nearly every
                      other Facility
                          (falsely laughs)
                      Haven't I, so I'll do a good job!

            The SOUND of a zip-fly undoing.

                                JOE (V.O.)
                          (pleading, getting louder)
                      You're all nude! YOU'RE ALL BLOODY

            The SOUND of a LOUD SUCKING noise from beneath the table. 

            EVERYONE visually indicating despair. Enviously looking
            towards under the table, Then to Ken. 

                                EVERYONE (V.O.)
                      That's my job!

            Ken's eyes rolling elatedly. 

            The table COVERED with one- hundred dollar-bills. 


            The SOUND of a heartbeat.
[ top | previous | next ]